McGolf - Dedham, MA
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
Score: 68/100
Would we play this course again? No.
Should you play this course? Yes.
The Takeaway: A Boston-area course with a welcoming, friendly atmosphere including an adjacent driving range and snack shack. McGolf serves up a solidly decent mini golf experience, featuring a pleasing central water feature, engaging elevation changes, and the tremendous inclusion of a pre-first hole practice putting green for dialing in your short game before starting. Is it an outstanding course? No. But not dissimilar from going to McDonald’s, you don’t go to McGolf expecting to receive a Michelin-star experience. You’re here because it’s conveniently located and satisfies your mini golf cravings..
The entrance to McGolf
TECHNICAL REVIEW
McGolf is an 18-hole mini golf course located on Bridge St. in Dedham, a relatively busy street along which one half of the Mass Mini Golf reviewer duo has spent several hundred hours of his life regretfully commuting. The mini golf (or “mini-putt” as used by McGolf) course is adjacent to a driving range, chip and putt area (membership required), and snack shack that serves up ice cream, hot dogs, and more. Based on first-person historical observations, the whole McGolf complex receives heavy traffic throughout the summer months, perhaps owing to being perhaps the closest driving range and outdoor mini golf course to Boston proper.
The course has a well thought-out format, with holes meandering around a central pond and waterfall feature, and then up and down a hill that is situated at the back of the course, furthest from the street side. Upon first entering there is a sizeable practice putting green, a thoughtful feature which is much appreciated. Once you’ve got your warmups in, you start the first hole to your immediate right.
The practice putting green is a nice addition
The first four holes provide some intriguing play, making use of creative undulations and elevations, blue and beige-colored putting turf, (visit the end of this review for additional commentary on hole 1) and multi-tier obstacle-involved play. After this solid start the hole quality drops off a bit and one must settle in for a stretch of straightaway putts with little to no obstacles, or something straightforward like a lone rock or small hump to trip you up. Despite the prominently placed and photo-worthy yellow chair near the entrance shack, this is a course that makes no real use of outlandish props or elaborately-constructed artificial obstacles: this is no course for those seeking windmills or loop de loops or terrific replicas of the Green Monster.
Frustratingly this course makes use on some holes of metal-lipped cups that create a hump at the perimeter which tends to be unpredictable and can push balls away from the hole; one seemingly robbed hole-in-one hurts, two has a player ready dig the cup out himself and replace it with a proper solution. Also disappointing was the sheer amount of debris littering the greens on nearly every hole, like small leaves and twigs, and what looked like dandelion spores resembling a layer of fresh snow (we’re no biologists). We understand that the conditions vary depending on the season and specific day you play, however we can only go by what we saw out there and that’s what we saw.
As one meanders along the front nine at the base of the hill that rises above the course, you do feel the inkling of an impending, exciting journey which seems vital to fun mini golf. Soon enough you will be hiking child-like up those steps towards the waterfall and all the wonders that await. And indeed the course reaches a crescendo at the top of said hill with the 14th hole, an enormous downhill hole near the big photo-worthy scenic vista of the course. This is unfortunately a hole that is not skill based and pretty much just requires you to tap the ball and let it roll down a 15 yard stretch while you hope for the best as the ball careens at the bottom toward an out of site cup on the right. Regardless, one still feels a childlike jubilant desire to chase after the ball down the ramp to see where it ends up (unsurprisingly there is a sign posted at the tee that says “do not chase after the ball down the ramp”, or something similarly fun-sponge-ic in nature—not unlike the “happy hour” ban in Massachusetts, we suspect one person ruined it for the rest of us).
Several more decent holes close out the course, making use of culvert style pipes, humps, bumps, and elevation changes to add some variation. The 17th hole is perhaps the most thoughtful and well-landscaped of the course, offering the player an accuracy-test put through a tunnel directly at the hole, or two alternative paths: one between two stately trees in the middle, and the other offering the long, sweeping way around to the right. While not a tremendous hole by any stretch (in this way it typifies McGolf—pleasant enough but ultimately nothing to write home about), it is situated by a meandering bend in the river, just downstream of the base of the waterfall, and it creates a quite tranquil hole.
Here one cannot help but briefly feel that maybe everything will be alright. That here on the mini golf course we might all find some common ground, unlikely group that we are, from the inexplicable six-some of Japanese businessmen playing behind us, to the fast-playing dad and his toddler we let play through on the 16th hole that are out for some father-daughter bonding fun. And while the fleeting anonymity of mini golf on a weekday June afternoon can allow you to invent whatever backstory you desire for your fellow players, what can be said for sure is that we’re all in search of something out here, and with any luck we may briefly find it.
Also, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that the first hole looks like a vagina, and the 12th hole is suspiciously phallic.
APPENDIX
After going to TGIF’s on a random Wednesday night you will not eagerly share a glowing recommendation about the experience later that weekend when catching up with friends. You understand that you were at Friday’s, that you wanted chicken fingers, and that there was nothing wrong with wanting, craving even, those chicken fingers. And certainly there was a time in all our lives when those platters of deep-fried chicken goodness made us feel like Kings and Queens, and boy those days sure were nice thought they’re long-gone in the rear view mirror. This is the experience at McGolf. Do not come here expecting invigorating and innovative cuisine. Come here expecting satisfaction that is book-ended into the time between when you enter and when you leave. Just like TGIF’s.
These comments should not discourage you from coming here. Putting around this course, albeit littered with branches and other detritus, and even leaning a bit too heavy on the rock motif so as to be almost Incan (à la the stonework of Machu Picchu—not that we’ve been, though the location does seem terrifically well-suited for the construction of a stunning mini golf course*), is a welcome distraction from the seriousness of life. And for some adults this mini golf course is probably worth its weight in gold for tying your kids up with something to do while you work out the woes of your lifelong slice at the adjacent golf driving range.
*heresy intended